R.A.C.E. – Reconciliation Achieved through Community Engagement

I went to a meeting last week at the Innovation Connector on White River Boulevard. The group sponsoring the meeting was the East Central Indiana Social Media Group (ECISMG). The title of this month’s meeting was Befriend: Critical Dialogues in Online Spaces. It was about interacting consciously in online discussions where we might encounter racial issues or other sensitive topics. Dr. Renae Mayes and Jason Donati led the meeting, and they also facilitate a group in Muncie called R.A.C.E. (Reconciliation Achieved through Community Engagement.)

See you this morning at @innovatemuncie for a great discussion on good online dialogues! https://t.co/9PZLnUPWI2 #ecismg

— ECI Social Media Group (@ECISocial) December 15, 2016

The meeting was full of interesting and challenging exercises and questions. As a straight, white male, I sometimes feel uncomfortable talking about some of these difficult topics. Though, as a life-long martial artist, I don’t shrink away from things that I find scary.

Maybe that’s why I left feeling slightly underwhelmed. I’m comfortable challenging myself and expected the meeting to be more challenging than it was.

I grew up with a father who battled his own racism. Don’t get me wrong; he was a good man, but he was born in possibly the most racist neighborhood in town (Shedtown, for those of you from Muncie.) His father, mother, aunts and uncles threw around the N-word like it was nothing. The racism was explicit and casual. I remember my grandfather telling me that he considered joining the KKK at one time. I think that, despite being in basic agreement with their ideals, their violence repulsed him.

My Dad married my Mom, whose family was much less vocally biased. My Mom grew up and went to school with a lot of black people. She experienced the racial tension at school in the ‘60s, and she experienced some of the violence of those times.

Love the reminder that we are ALL biased. We are raised with and learned our specific beliefs. How do those influence your outlook? #ecismg

— Jaime Faulkner (@MrsFaulkie) December 15, 2016

#ECISMG Our biggest fight should be against our own bias, not other people's.

— K.G. Ring (@ring_kenneth) December 15, 2016

Dad worked through a lot of his anger and had even made strides working on eliminating the casual racism from his thoughts and speech. Of course, when he died, he still had work to do, but he wasn’t the same man he had been in the ‘60s. He had learned to think before he reacted from his childhood programming.

#ECISMG Responding vs Reacting

— K.G. Ring (@ring_kenneth) December 15, 2016

Before you respond, think about your goal-awarenesd, shared understanding, collective action. #ecismg

— Kallie Sulanke (@kallie_sulanke) December 15, 2016

One of the points that Dr. Mayes and Mr. Donati made last week was that we have three primary responses to situations in life: Fight, Flight, or Freeze. If we don’t run away from challenges, we either freeze in fear, or we fight.

#ECISMG – Fight,Flight,Freeze in social media – block, comment, scroll on…..on line dialogue program led by @jdebodonati and Renae Maes

— Peggy Cenova (@plcenova) December 15, 2016

Their point was that if we encounter a post from a friend or acquaintance on Facebook that displays racism or sexism, we can choose to keep scrolling without saying anything (flight), we can block that person (freeze in fear), or we can challenge their views by commenting (fight).

I understand the paradigm, but I have to reject the verbiage. As a martial artist, I study conflict. I look at choices during conflict (whether that be self-defense or something else) and find a way to counter without “fighting.” When we use the word “fight,” we naturally think in terms of us vs. them, winning or losing, right or wrong. Everything comes down to a binary view, and when dealing with any of these “-isms,” binary thinking is not the answer.

In our martial art, we understand that “fighting” is a dangerous and ineffective use of energy. When conflict comes into our sphere, we add our energy in the direction that it is moving and redirect it away from us (or loved ones) and usually back to the assailant; this is the Korean philosophy of Yu-Won-Hwa. Dissolve conflict with harmony rather than discord.

Meeting challenges this way takes strength, flexibility, self-knowledge, and above all: practice.

So, the question becomes, how do we apply this philosophy to racism, whether subtle or blatant, systemic or casual, encountered in daily life? I am in total agreement that we need to resist the urge to keep scrolling or even block those people who are less tolerant or less aware than we are. I have to admit that I need more practice before I try to comment and bring these -isms into the light. I guess that’s more of what I was hoping for last week. And while we did talk about a few examples, I need a lot more.

As our Kuk Sool Won motto states: I need more practice!